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26th May 2010

12:14am: My home
It's a decent home just not good enough for anyone to come to. I give up its time for new friends.

17th December 2009

3:19am: why
It is 22 degrees outside it is 42 degrees in my house you have heat I dont why couldnt I sleep on your love seat and go home when you left in the morning?

4th September 2009

1:19am: grrrr mother fucking grrrrr that is all

27th August 2009

11:16pm: fuck you all well not you Master





These go out to all you people I ran from many years ago and I let flood back in. You false pieces of shit, mind fucking idiots get the fuck off the planet I am back I have balls, I have a life, I am a good person now, I am healed, I am bigger , better and stronger and ya people dont want to be a part of it buh bye.

25th June 2009

12:58pm: Well not alot to wright about been kind of an odd week. It was nice to wake up to you 3 feet from me the other night on my friday. Counseling was ok I guess. You have been very elusive the past few days but thats cool its what you need to do for you I guess. I would hope you would offer the same respect when you ask me something as I do you now that we have gotten over that hump about telling things to each other but hey as Harrison said the double standards are an issue and need to stop it is more distructive than helpful.

17th June 2009

1:55pm: Thank you
Thank you for sleeping over and the play time. It was very awsome and nice.
Current Mood: amused

11th June 2009

9:40am: This morning
So I took a uniform pair of pants and shirt down to de wrinkle it a tad in the dryer so I could cheat on the ironing a tad and low and behold what do I see another flat tire. The one that gets changed tomarrow at 10:30. I think it is just giving me a hint. I think it is just dry rott from sitting so long in the garage. after that two more tires the one is going to become the spare so that I can have a regular tire the donut sucks ass. the other is the last of the old tires we got in charleston. So now I have to leave a tad bit earlier due to the donut being on. le sigh. I just cant win lmao. That is really small peas as gram would say. In other news the new pill really knocks me for a loop at times but then it passes and then it comes back but over all I feel a tad bit more like myself. Things kinda seem like "oh ok thats cool" vice "WTF" which is way more like me but that is hit and miss as well.
Current Mood: optimistic

5th June 2009

10:03am: what do I want
What do I want in life I have given this great thought for two weeks now and it is time to put it to words. I want you my pretty girl at my side I want my two children about me, I want a home I can call my own with a yard to mow, I want to be a SGT and I want to be on the HNT team.
Current Mood: cold
9:51am: quotes
A quote from one of my fav movies "I was thinking and that is something a man should not do"
Current Mood: cold

3rd June 2009

7:42am: random
5 things left to do. 3 long term 2 no term then done
7:05am: morning
Well took a 30 minute bike ride it felt good ohhh the burn. Work is going well second shift is much more user friendly. RR is still trying to recruit me but in a way that isnt my gig but in a way it is the team three stuff is fun, the search team and intel stuff is nifty but the asshole role just isnt totally me. Sometimes I may seem harsh in how I treat the inmates but you have to at times fight back any way you can because they try anything to get over on you particularly us trainees. Working the TCU part of this week bunch of cry babies IMHO hey I fucked up I paid sorry I dont feel your pain. I am feeling the way I did from say 24-26 is that a good thing? for some it will be for others oh fucking well they made the bed they are in they can sleep in it feel a little pain. I am so tired of there shit I dont really need it. Self improvment is a wonderful thing. There are parts of that time frame I liked and parts I hated towers and motes and walls oh boy.
Current Mood: blank
12:18am: what is worse
I dont know what is worse never having the true love of a father or not getting to hear i love you from your sweet lips. Dont worry about the Kile thing I will be looking for a place for you to hang out until we get out of work so you can go to we just dont know if it is going happen

2nd June 2009

12:27am: :-)
Give value in all you do, educate them, help them overcome problems they may be having, procure your role as the leader.

1st June 2009

7:19am: today
Pay the maj, drop off dresser, go to the garage, then up in the air for the rest of the day.

Love you
Current Mood: indifferent
3:00am: Chorus:
Her eyes they shone like the diamonds
You'd think she was queen of the land
And her hair hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band.
In a neat little town they call Belfast
Apprenticed to trade I was bound
And many an hour's sweet happiness
I spent in that neat little town.
Till bad misfortune came o'er me
That caused me to stray from the land
Far away from my friends and relations
To follow the black velvet band.

Well, I was out strolling one evening
Not meaning to go very far
When I met with a pretty young damsel
Who was selling her trade in the bar.
When I watched, she took from a customer
And slipped it right into my hand
Then the Watch came and put me in prison
Bad luck to the black velvet band.

Next morning before judge and jury
For a trial I had to appear
And the judge, he said, "You young fellows...
The case against you is quite clear
And seven long years is your sentence
You're going to Van Dieman's Land
Far away from your friends and relations
To follow the black velvet band."

So come all you jolly young fellows
I'd have you take warning by me
Whenever you're out on the liquor, me lads,
Beware of the pretty colleen.
She'll fill you with whiskey and porter
Until you're not able to stand
And the very next thing that you'll know, me lads,
You're landed in Van Dieman's Land.
Current Mood: nostalgic

25th May 2009

11:46pm: I will gladly spend any time with you for coffee in the AM's or any time at all, all you have to is call and as you know I will be there. Ready for you.
11:46pm: I wonder if you actually read this. I wonder about alot of things like do you loves me and want me. Do you miss me at all like I do you. I am sure these answers will come sometime just sometimes one wants/needs to know. Not because of some insecure reason but rather it is just nice to know when you want to be loved by the person your head over heals about. Because I sure the hell do love you as much as I say I do. Oh yeah going to go see if I can find food else where raviolies isnt cutting it didn't wanna message and wake you up. I just need you to know how much I really care and love you. I dont think I am going to do much in eq it just isnt the same without you I think I will just eat and go to bed. I miss you here I really do I miss both of you about me. Those sweet eyes looking out at me but I do understand your doing what you need to do for you.

24th May 2009

11:50pm: Omiting
Is Omitting information as bad as telling a lie? Was asked this at work. I am not sure of the answer myself I have my ideas but who am I to say.

13th May 2009

10:00am: Woodshop
What I need for the shop

Work bench at least 6-8 feet long 36-48" wide with vise and dogs "can make"

Atleast a shop smith because it is multi purpose and movable and an all in one machine "think Transformer" it has the drill press, table saw, disc sander, Lathe Joiner and planer



Drill Press

Band Saw

vacuum system

Plunge router base for my router

various sized draw knives small ones and bowl knife I have large ones

Bench grinder

chisle set

Chisling hammer

Hand Saw

Coping Saw

New dremal cause mine is missing

Dove tail jig for router

Lvl's various sizes "Missing"

T-Square "Missing"

Drill bit set "Missing"

Router Bit set "Missing"

Alot of this I can get at that discount place up by gilchrists old place.

Thats it for now till I go through more stuff I will update this list as needed
Current Mood: indifferent

20th April 2009

9:28pm: Wish list for work when I turn over and some sooner
This is an acceptable pair of boots


These are some things I would like to get when I turn over to CO1


Smith & Wesson: Model 100 Chain Handcuffs
Smith & Wesson's most popular handcuffs are fabricated from the finest quality carbon steel. They are manufactured with heat treated internal lockworks, featuring smooth ratchets for swift cuffing and double locks to prevent tampering. Available in Black or Nickel Finish.
Product Code: 350101
Price: $25.99

Want the black ones





http://www.lawsupply.com/Duty_Gear/Duty_Accessories/Nylon/UMSKRH x2 each


I think that is all for now will update as I find stuff
Current Mood: amused
8:15am: hello world
All I want is a chance, a chance at love again. I am ready for love but with only one. Her name is Mata she is everything a guy could want and this guy wants her. I want so much to show her the world and the love she wants and desires. I want to share the guy she see's on the inside. Some days yes are hard sometimes she in her own way can be a harsh mistress but I guess I deserve it. But yet I also deserve her love and dominance.

14th April 2009

7:12pm: Today
Well I guess there isnt much to write about today I did tell you 95 percent of my day the 5 was sleep and counseling stuff. I will be sure to keep this up as I can. Of course there are little things that have no significance at all really other than to me so I wont bother ya with them. May peace and love keep you warm and safe.


11th April 2009

10:04pm: schedule for weekending 17 april
Sunday 12 April WOrk
Monday 13 april work Van inspection at 4pm
Tuesday 14 April work Counsiling at 5pm
Wednesday 15 April work nothing else planned
Thursday 16 April work nothing else planned "My friday"
17-20 April off

11th February 2009

10:42am: I am sorry
I am sorry for every wrong I have ever done. I am sorry for every hurt I caused. I am sorry that it took so long for me to be a good person. Please forgive me

11th August 2007

1:22pm: fave social d tunes
"Live Before You Die"

When pressures up and the stress is high
and I wanna bid this world good bye
I'm gonna bury my frustrations
grab some of life's satisfactions
yeah I'm gonna live before I die

I try to find some peace of mind
when my life's treating me unkind
paiin will be my motivation
I'm gonna use my imagination

So close your eyes, and embrace your memories
leave your troubles and your worries far behind
stop contemplating and start celebrating
yeah you gotta live before you die

I think of chances I didn't take
i try to learn from my mistakes, yeah
I'm tired of being pushed around now
life ain't gonna drag me down now
yeah, I'm gonna live before I die

"Winners And Losers"

Winners and losers, turn the pages of my life
We're beggers and choosers, with all the struggles and the strife
I got no reason to turn my head and look the other way
we're good and we're evil, which one will I be today?

There's saints and sinners
Life's a gamble and you might lose
There's cowards and heroes
Both have been known how to break the rules
there's lovers and haters
The strong and the weak will all have their day
We're devils and angels
Which one will I be today?

Are you happy now with all the choices you've made?
Are there times in life when you know you should've stayed?
Will you compromise and then realize the price is too much to pay?
Winners and losers, which one will you be today?

There's a light and a dark side
standing at the crossroads, there we'll meet
there's prophets and fools there
the lies and the truths, will be at our feet
I got a reason to turn my head and look the other way
it's heaven and hell here, which one will I live today?

"Reach For The Sky"

When I was young I was invincible,
I find myself now thinking twice,
I never thought about no future,
its just the roll of the dice.

But the day may come when you've got something to lose,
and just when you think you're done paying dues
And you say to yourself, dear God what Have I done?
And hope its not too late 'cause tomorrow may never come.

Reach For the Sky, 'cause tomorrow may never come

Yesterday is history and tomorrow's a mystery
But baby right now, its just about you and me,
You can run you can hide, just like Bonnie and Clyde
Reach for the sky ain't never gonna die,
and I thank the Lord for the love I have found
and hold you tight cause tomorrow may never come.

So if you please take this moment
Try if you can make it last
Don't think about no future and just forget about the past
and make it last.

"When The Angels Sing"

At last we meet again, dear God
Hear the angels sing
The funerals are nicer when we know you're there
When the angels sing
I try so hard
To understand
The things you do
I like to question you
When it all comes down
Hear the angels sing
Stand up strong
Feel the pain
When the angels sing
And death
Don't mean a thing
Till the angels sing

The prisoners pray when they're on to death row
When the angels sing
The junky
Cries for love but it's all run out
When the angels sing
The sins
Of the world
And it's cold on the streets
And you're all alone
And the tears
They start to fall
When it all comes down
Hear the angels sing

Stand up strong
Feel the pain
When the angels sing
And death
Don't mean a thing
Till the angels sing
By little
Day by day
I watch the children play
Cause life
And death
Don't mean a thing
Till the angels sing

When the angel of death comes to looking for me
Hear the angels sing
I hope I was everything I was supposed to be
When the angels sing
There's gotta be a heaven
Cause I've already done
My time in hell
And a little
Baby's born when it all comes down
Hear the angels sing

Stand up strong
Feel the pain
When the angels sing
And death
Don't mean a thing
Till the angels sing
By little
Day by day
I watch the children play
Cause life
And death
Don't mean a thing
Till the angels sing
Current Mood: blah
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